Spring House Brewery ...Yeah we don't have that here...

Linky:  Spring House Brewery, 209 Hazel Street Lancaster PA.

We made dinner reservations here for a party of four at 3pm. (Beating bad weather.... which didn't really happen anyway). 
Although they were fairly busy we were seated quickly. 

They are in a slightly shady neighborhood on the south side of Lancaster City.  (LOLOLOL.... slightly shady?  As we parked, there was gunfire from just across the street.  Where WE live, that just means someone is having fun target shooting.  Where Spring House is in Lancaster, it probably means a multiple drug gang assassination). 

The building is a beautiful reworked warehouse, and has charming antique lighting. You can see the shiny metal canisters in which they brew their beer. It's rustic but modern.  (I checked for bullet holes in the windows.  None to be found... THIS visit. I like the decor.  It's trying hard to be lots of things, but I like what it turned out to be.)

We were handed a menu that didn't quite match up with what they offered online, but this is not the most unusual thing that has ever happened to us at a restaurant (BULL.... it was nothing like the on-line menu. I really hope they get around to changing what's on their website, so other folks aren't as disappointed at that as I was). When our waitress handed it to us she did mention they had gotten a new head chef in the last 24 hours, and they were out of a couple things. The 'couple things' started out as mussels, chili, and chicken wings. We were a bit flummoxed, but decided to carry on. (They didn't have WINGS, for God's sake! We were in a brew pub on Saturday afternoon, and no wings.)

Drinks:  Herself and the other Herself both got flights of five beers, both duplicates.  Of the ones I tried, three were tasty, one was.... not drinkable, and the other was okay.  The five were She-monster, Lexicon, Satan's Bake Sale, Eggnog Stout, and Goofy Foot.

I went for the Oatmeal Stout, which was rich and tasty. Really, a very nice beer for a chilly afternoon.

She came out with our drinks (they are a brewery after all). A flight of beer is only $7.50, and they have some decent brews to try. At that point she also mentioned they were out of pork tacos, and  Cuban sandwiches. (%$#@.... No wings, and now no Cubans?  Why give us a menu when you start out saying you have none of the good stuff on it?)  Ouch! "Okay we have beer, let's carry on." 

We shared the cheese plate at $12, A cup of Tomato Bisque at $4 to share, and each got a House Burger for $14.  Our friends also got a burger, the cheese tray, and a big order of fries.

The cheese appie came on a cute slate/tray thing. It had 4 pieces of crostini, 4 big cubes of orange cheddar (No better than grocery store house brand) with some mustardy-ass mustard (thank you Chris for that description of a spicy brown horseradish mustard) (And a very tasty and tangy mustard it was. I saved some and used in on my burger), a little mound of goat cheese with picked onions, and a little mound of blue cheese with apricot jam. It wasn't... bad.  Right away, first thing, why be so parsimonious with the bleepin bread?  It's the cheapest thing on the tray, so why not give us enough to actually eat all the cheese with?

The cheddar was at best pedestrian, it was my least favorite part. There could have been more pickled onions. The whole cheese tray thing was serviceable. She's being fair, but generous. Of the three cheeses represented, two were decent and one was a rubbery cheese-like substance with sorta cheddar flavor. It was cheddar I wouldn't buy at the grocery store, and certainly didn't appreciate paying that much to see it being a third of the cheese board appetizer.  Of the other two, the bleu was pleasant, and the goat cheese was store bought forgettable. Yes, good cheese is very expensive.  On the other hand.... we paid good cheese prices for 'meh' cheese.  Color me unimpressed.

To be fair, We Two Fat Foodies are willing to drive hours hitting up specialty shops for meat and cheese to make a snack tray at home.  I get that not every restaurant can go that far.  I understand.  I also understand that a place trying real hard to be upscale and trendy needs to go that extra mile.  Meh just doesn't cut it.

The tomato bisque was a nightmare, it was grainy in texture and had too many dried herbs in it. It wasn't creamy or rich like I would expect a bisque to be. Personally, as we ordered the tomato bisque I was cataloging in my heads the ways this could have gone.  The best, made from scratch, with love, by someone who knows what they are doing.... yeah, that was a long shot.  The worst... from a can, and dolled up a bit with some fresh herbs, a bit of cream, and a dab of butter.... that was what I expected.  What we got was, I think, something someone tried to make good, but had no idea what a tomato bisque is.  It was like asking a vegan to cook you a perfect New York strip medium rare, and please make up a nice steak rub for it.  They might understand what you asked for theoretically, but when it comes to actual taste it's going to be disappointing.  I had a spoonful. It wasn't worth a second taste.

My burger was good. It was a decent sized, perfectly cooked, maybe a little under seasoned. It was on a nice grilled brioche bun, it had fried onions on it, and more of that orange cheddar. I added some of that mustardy-ass mustard.   Yeah, the burger was decent. They didn't screw with it trying to be special, and that's probably the best thing they could have done.  They nailed the 'medium' we asked for, and the onions helped.  Herself mentions the cheese above, but honestly?  I didn't notice it even had cheese on it.  The flavor was okay.  I added some of the mustardy-ass mustard, and got at least a tiny bit towards the Cuban I'd really wanted to eat.

The fries looked to be hand cut, and once-fried. A bit of what tasted like sea salt, and otherwise unmolested.  Decent fries. Nothing exciting, but a few steps above fast food.

In my opinion the place has potential, and we have agreed we tried them on what was obviously an off day. We'll give them another chance, and I only hope they can better impress us next time because frankly this visit was anti-climactic.

We are going to go back.  They get another chance.  Why?  Because they told us up front it was a new chef.  When I asked, they admitted it was his second day there.  Yeah, I was kinda cranked the entire menu was reduced to one side of a card, and they should have given us crayons to cross out all the stuff they didn't have on even that tiny menu.  Pretty much every single thing I was looking forward to eating, they didn't have .

They get another chance because we can understand a new chef stepping into a situation that may have been bad to begin with. It takes more than a day or two to get a good kitchen working at speed.   They get *one more chance*, after a few weeks, because we want to see if the chef can pull it together, or the place is going to fold in sadness and sorrow.

That, and the Oatmeal Stout was pretty damned good.  I'll go back just to have that again. 

Overall I give Spring House Brewery:
2.75 out of 5 forks for flavor
4.00 out of 5 forks for (internal) atmosphere
3.75 out of 5 forks for location (plenty of parking, and easy to get to, but we heard gunshots...sooo?!)
3.15 out of 5 forks for service (very attentive at the beginning then it got lax)
3.4125  forks overall, good enough to give them a 2nd shot, once the new chef settles in