BBQ beans...... Do they get any better?

It's summer, and we like to entertain.  Friends and family on the patio for food and good times.  That means 'Outdoor' food.  Barbecue, grilled goodness, PIES,  long simmered pots of chili or beans, big bowls of salad, PIES, cornbread, pitchers of Sangria, and did I mention PIES?

Here I'd like to talk about a relatively easy recipe for spectacular BBQ beans.  Honestly, these are a meal to themselves.  Compared to canned baked beans, even 'doctored' beans, these are so much better it's almost scary.

I say easy, mostly because the bulk of it comes from cans.  Dried beans are cool, and can taste good, but man..... opening cans is easy.  Lazy people like me really appreciate easy.  It's also a great way to boost flavor profiles and variety without much fuss.  Being able to short-circuit much of the work by using canned products saved lot's of time, as is fitting for Summertime outdoor meals.  

Go ahead... tell your guests you slaved over these beans.  They'll never know.

This works best in a big cast iron dutch oven.  A classic bean pot would work as well, but avoid a thin skinned pot.  There's nothing wrong with doing it in a casserole dish in the oven either, although I find the dutch oven on a burner is best.

Yes, the cans pictured here are a partial ingredient list.  Yes, I can hear that concerned expression all the way through time and space.  Trust me here... this works.

The basics:
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes
2 cans Pinto beans
1 can black beans
1 can dark kidney beans
1 or 2 cans butter beans
1 large can of Bush's baked beans, any flavor
1 can tomato paste
1 large sweet onion
2 Jalapeno peppers
2 fat pork loin chops, plus 1 more to grind up
1/2 pound good bacon from the meat case.
1/4 pound butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup spicy mustard
1/2 large bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's hickory BBQ sauce
Spices and seasoning to taste:  Salt, pepper, chopped garlic, hot sauce.

Now, these beans are going to cook all day, real slow.  That means get them going in the morning right after making coffee.  Right AFTER coffee.... because priorities.

Start with that dutch oven on a burner, warming on low.  Toss in half a stick of butter.  Yes... HALF a STICK.  I said these are tasty, not healthy.  Save the other half a stick, as it will come in soon.

Dump all the cans of beans into a strainer, rinsing the cans to get all the beans out.  Run water over the beans as you gently stir them, getting all the canned-beanie-goo off.  Once they are rinsed, dump them in the dutch oven.

Now add the can of tomato paste and half a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's Hickory BBQ sauce.  Also add the can of Ro-Tel tomatoes without draining it.  (We want that wonderful tomato-chili juice).  Now dump in a quarter cup of brown sugar and a quarter cup of mustard (Your Choice!  I like spicy brown).  Just dump it all in there. Don't bother stirring.  That comes later.

Meanwhile, back at the castle, start your favorite mid-sized fry pan on medium high.  Any kind of fry pan will do, but if it's not cast iron, I don't want to know you.   Now dice a sweet onion into 1/4 to 1/2 inch chunks.   Drop that other half stick of butter into the pan, and as soon as it melts dump in the chopped onions.  Stir to spread, and then leave them the hell alone.

Alone!  Let them brown in peace!  Why does everyone insist on stirring the onions?  Just leave them the hell alone til they begin to brown a bit!  Use those minutes to wash some dishes or feed the cat or something.

Once the onions begin to brown, dump onions and butter into the pot of beans.  Save the pan, you'll need it.  While you are dumping things in here.... there's one more can to open.  That would be a large can of really good store bought baked beans.  Yeah.... I went there.  The thing is, there is flavor in that can we need.  Just do it, okay?  Trust me. Just close your eyes, and pour in that can of Bush's beautiful beaniness.

There is MEAT in these BBQ beans.  LOTS of meat.  I'll explain what I put in, and you do what you think is right.   We trust each other here, and I know you will do the right thing.  You will.... right?   Right?!

I like to use about half a pound of ground pork and bacon to begin with.  Just to *begin* with.  I grind it myself from pork loin and meat-case bacon, about 60/40 mixed.  Spin the food processor til it looks nicely ground up, and then move it to that fry pan I told you to keep handy.  Saute the ground pork/bacon mix till it's nicely browned, and then dump it all into the bean pot.

Take about 1/4 pound of that bacon, and fry it til almost crispy.  Do this on medium low heat, and the spatters will be kept to a minimum.  Me?   I roast mine in the oven... but that's another story.
After you pull the bacon and rest it on paper towels, put a couple nice fat pork loin chops into the pan and just let them go.  After ten minutes or so, when they have gone golden brown on the bottom, turn them and let them go another ten minutes on medium low. They should cook through, but still be juicy.  Not hockey pucks.... got that?  There's no coming back from hockey pucks.

When Pork loin and bacon have cooled, slice them into small chunks, no bigger than 1/2 inch.  Once again.... dump it all into the bean pot.

Now get yourself a couple Jalapeno peppers, and clean them,  Lose the seeds and ribs from the inside, and dice them small.  You know what happens next..... dump them into the pot.

At this time, go ahead and stir enough to distribute the tomato paste evenly.  add enough liquid to make the beans just a bit soupy, but not too much. The beans will simmer better all day with some liquid there, and we will deal with thickening them later.  As for what liquid, water works, although some decent Lager beer is better.

Everything in, we are going to lid the dutch oven and get on with our lives.  Leave it to simmer on low, giving it a gentle stir every hour or so.  We want to be gentle so the beans will retain their structure. Add liquid if you need to, but you probably won't.  Don't sweat it if it looks too soupy... we'll get to that later.

Along about lunch time, flavor adjustment happens.  By then, the beans have simmered long enough that a really good flavor meld is happening, and you can get a good taste for what's needed. I'll usually add kosher salt, and fresh ground black pepper, both to taste.  Typically I'll also add some Crystal hot sauce, just a pinch of red pepper flakes, and a tablespoon of chopped garlic.  For Us-Uns, that's usually all that's needed.

About an hour before you expect to begin serving people, pull the lid off the pot.  Just let them simmer, and they will thicken nicely.  Avoid the urge to stir them, and simply let them be. One gentle fold before serving is enough.  They'll be tender, almost silky, in texture.

That's it.   It *sounds* like a lot of work, but it really isn't once you think about it.  This big 'ol pot of BBQ beans is worth every minute.  Your guests will be shocked how good these are!

Postscript from Herself: Do you love your partner? Do you want to spend loads of quality time with them? Then please use beans sparingly in your life. Let's not hurt each other... okay?

Post Postscript:    Ha!  This morning Herself bargained her making me breakfast, against me agreeing NOT to eat anymore beans today.  I call that a win.